Pop goes the pineapple

I couldn’t resist buying this pineapple plant. I have never actually considered how pineapples grow,and if asked would have put it in the 'how many angels cavorting on a pinhead' type basket of tricky questions. If push came to biological shove I would have hazarded a guess at a coconut type tree existence – thus proving my woeful knowledge of tropical fruit propagation. I saw this particular specimen in the local Italian emporium and was immediately besotted, handed over what seemed a very reasonable amount of hard cash for a living curiosity and carried it home in triumph.

When we arrived in America, one of our neighbours very kindly threw a ‘Welcome to the neighbourhood’ coffee morning for us. Being Rye it wasn’t the quick pop round for a cuppa type affair that would be the norm in Australia but rather a full on event with invitations and decorations. Based on the very smart invitation, the theme for the morning seemed to be pineapples, an impression reinforced by the pineapple centrepiece on the hostesses’ table, so impressive it was actually more in the nature of a modern sculpture than a fruit bowl. I discovered that my hostess was sadly not signalling time for a quick round of pina coladas, but was in fact being incredibly clever as the pineapple is apparently a sign of welcome – a less well known fact in the UK, and indeed Australia, where we tend to use a bottle as a sign of welcome, but that’s different cultures for you. However now I’ve got my own particular pineapple production unit, I’ll be greeting guests with a welcoming smile and a flick of the hand towards the table and my own pet pineapple welcome mat substitute.