Monday, July 29, 2013

The Rule of Three - Post holiday Laws of the Universe

I think I may have discovered a new rule governing the universe – in particular the holidaying part of the universe.  I am unsure whether I should be applying to the Nobel Prize committee for Chemistry, Biology or Physics for  basically the Rule of Three seems to touch on most of post holiday life and body.
The Rule of Three holds that:
1.     It takes three months of holiday run up to build a reasonable level of fitness (and bear in mind we are not talking Olympic level fitness here merely the ability to walk up the hill from the beach without turning puce and catching at my chest) – and approximately three days of holiday to loose that residual fitness and return to couch potato level, albeit clad in a bikini and was there ever a more attractive garment for a potato than a bikini?  (NB at this point just have to draw attention to the Australian manufacturer called AussieBum who market their exceedingly brief and tight swimming ‘briefs’  and underwear under the slogan, “If you doubt yourself, wear something else” – good job it’s aimed at men  not women!)
2.     It takes three weeks to lose a kilo – and note here I mean to lose it properly rather than temporarily mislay it on a 24 hour basis owing to a nil by mouth type diet and conversely roughly three hours to gain it – but actually possibly worth it in terms of groans of greed as the Italian notion of a light lunch slips down.
3.     It generally takes us three whole days as a family to relax into life on holiday, to start sleeping in, slopping around, reading ancient copies of Agatha Christie novels, playing cards and charades and just generally behaving like characters from “Five have a Great Time” and conversely approximately three hours and a large washing pile before pre holiday stress and snappiness returns.
4. The three week pile of mail that awaits on the doorstep looks three times as interesting as it actually is - reminders for pet vaccination having after all a limited fascination factor.

No comments:

Post a Comment