Saturday, September 18, 2010

Swinging from the chandelier

Divorce may be on the cards. I am eyeing the phone with a fair amount of nervousness, waiting for the moment when Husband, who has just arrived at his parents in the UK after a flight from Asia and a three hour drive from Heathrow, discovers the ‘small’ package that I am hoping he will bring back to Sydney.

I fear I may have fallen prey to my greatest sin, over ambition on the luggage front. I am not sure I have much confidence in Husband’s ability to hold back on the bad language when the man from Tesco Direct staggers up his parental driveway later on today clutching the supposedly miniscule package. It actually contains a glass chandelier – or more accurately a chandelier made out of 37 wine glasses. Hopefully this should provide a link to a picture of it in all its glory:

The product notes re. the chandelier, which by the by, I think will be a thing of beauty and jolly useful when we run out of glasses, say it requires self assembly but even in my most optimistic mood I can’t somehow see how 31 glasses can be flatpacked. I have a sneaking suspicion that even if Husband nobly lugs the large box round London and onto the plane, by the time it reaches Sydney there may be a certain chipping and tinkling sound more characteristic of a traditional cut glass chandelier.

I have in fact caved and sent Husband an apologetic email suggesting that if he feels he and Qantas will be unequal to the transport operation that he sends it seamail – in which case if we are lucky it might get to us for Christmas and lead to a new party game for all the family involving industrial quantities of glue.

I am aware of the insanity of my actions (thought I’d better get that bit in before the phone goes) – my only excuse is that I think I have fallen prey to that expat malaise where you suddenly feel cheated that you can’t access normal parts of your home country’s life and you irrationally long for a delivery from Pottery Barn or Tesco both of whom remain resolutely domestically minded in their delivery policy– so let’s hear it for the companies like Marks & Spencer, Boden, Land’s End and LL Bean that deliver internationally – you’ve made many an expat very happy!


  1. Think I would be a bit nervous about carting glass on a plane at all!!

    CJ xx

  2. Perhaps it's just the frame and you supply your own glasses? You hope.

  3. Hi Crystal Jigsaw - I got the immediate giggles when I saw your name as I have to say I feel I may be unpacking exactly that. Calm, rational Husband has sent me an email overnight where he was very kind about the thing but does raise the pointed question "you do have a receipt, don't you?" Am currently considering the Blue Peter approach and wondering whether with enough wine -essential for the empty glasses - and some sticky backed plastic, if I could make it myself. I think hope might be an essential virtue on all the whole sage EM!