Friday, January 29, 2010

Which side of the unmade bed line do you fall?

I came across fabulous article by Shane Watson in The Times this week, where inspired by the Sharon Stone comments about Meryl Streep looking like “an unmade bed”, she divides the female population into Unmade Beds and Pristine Pillows – I am of course firmly in the Unmade Bed camp, which I would typify as the relaxed, untidy but fun end of the spectrum rather than the immaculate, restrained (aka no fun) end that is Pristine Pillow territory. I was feeling rather smug about my failings being portrayed as winning virtues shared in part with Meryl, until I made the mistake of showing the article to husband, who looked mournful and muttered that he would have been quite happy with a Pristine Pillow option. I restrained myself from pointing out if he wasn’t careful he’d find himself in the newly invented ‘dumped duvet’ category.

One of the key characteristics of the Unmade Bed women is the amount they carry around in their handbags and I have to plead truly guilty on this count. Airport security men poke about the debris and household goods stashed in my currently lime green number with amazement and vague revulsion while I wait for questions about why I am carrying 20 biros, a half eaten Freddo frog, hairbrush, nit comb, 2 mismatched children’s socks, a tattered copy of Rumpole, the missing bit of a jigsaw, a 2006 diary, a tube of superglue and some toothpaste. I did however once gain an Italian boyfriend purely on the basis that I managed to pull a black suspender belt out of my handbag on a bus whilst looking for my bus ticket, leading him to conclude that I must be a great deal more exciting than he had initially thought.

In an effort to inspire Drama Queen No.1 I pushed her way the Saturday Magazine supplement from the Sydney Morning Herald that had, I thought, an interesting article on Australian women serving in the front line in Afghanistan. Unfortunately I had failed to realize that there was also an article on the profession of nightclub hostess – currently in the limelight owing to Tiger Woods’ research in this area. Call me gormless but of course the inevitable happened – over dinner with her grandparents DQ no. 1 announced that she intended to become Nightclub Hostess on the grounds she feels she is ideally suited to the profession (kindly note how restrained I am being in resisting the temptation to add the word ‘world’s oldest’ in front here). Given the key qualities highlighted as necessary for success which were loads of contacts and an ability to make friends and network, I can see why she thinks this might be an career well worth her while exploring – I might however try and persuade her not to share this insight with the careers mistress at school.

1 comment:

  1. Whereas I am a wannabe Pristine Pillow but my family won't let me. Of course if I was as beautiful, thin and talented as Meryl Streep perhaps I would have the courage to be an Unmade Bed.

    Love your Blog by the way